Friday, December 30, 2011

Klaus Nomi - One of a Kind Original

Klaus Nomi - Lightning Strikes

Klaus Nomi was known for his bizarre otherworldly theatrical performances in heavy makeup, weird costumes, his signature hairdo and amazing vocal range.
He died in 1983 from complications of AIDS at 39.
It's worth a few of your minutes to read about him, watch a video or two.
He is gone from this world, but not forgotten.
The original Lou Christie song Lightnin Strikes
Ding Dong The Witch is Dead
Klaus Nomi - Silent Night
David Bowie, Klaus Nomi perform Boys Keep Swinging
on Saturday Night Live 1979
Weird With a Beard

Yazima Beauty Salon - JPOP Drag Queen SuperGroup!

NIHON NO MIKATA - Nebada Kara Kimashita, translated as
Friends of Japan - We Come From Nevada

Yazima Beauty Salon - Japanese Drag Queen SuperGroup!
Wikipedia Page

This hilarious and superbly polished musical act is one of the
best Drag performances I've ever witnessed.  They don't
conceal their male features, but revel in them for laughs, but
they never break character and every nuanced move is right on
the money in these full blown music video productions.

They seem to be dying down now, but I've become a big fan,
listening to their hits over and over.  It's not hard to see why
they are much requested in the Karaoke parlors of Japan.

In a nutshell, mother Margaret, along with daughters Naomi and
Strawberry Yazima are supposedly working at their Yazima
Beauty Salon in Las Vegas, where they are "discovered" and
brought to Japan by DJ Ozma (who is also Naomi in drag). 

They then take the country by storm with their fabulous musical
performances.  They made a movie to cash in on their
popularity.  Even if they fade out, their handful of wonderful
music videos will always have a place as classics.  Well worth
your time to watch them all, they grow on you.  If you want to
learn more about them, there are plenty of things on the
internet about them.

I've done all the hard work for you and put links to all their top music videos, the movie trailer and one publicity show shared with another group.
translated as Common Orient Clam Bomber
SAKURA - Haru o Utawa Nevada
translated as Cherry Blossom - A Nevada Spring Song
IDOL Mitai ni Utawasete
translated as Let Me Sing Like An Idol
 featuring Princess Seiko (Seiko Matsuda )
MEGAMI no Chikara
The Power of Megami (Goddess) Disco Style
THE MOVIE TRAILER - Yazima Beauty Salon
THSK on TBS Meets Yajima Beauty Salon (English Subbed)

Groovy!, VROUK Approved!

The Words to Star Trek Theme + Beyond Antares

Star Trek Theme On Theremin! 
Star Trek Theme PLUS LYRICS!
Cecily on piano, Laura on vocals. :)

These lyrics to the classic sixties Star Trek TV Show
were published in the 1st novelization of the scripts by James Blish 
and in the book World of Star Trek by Gene Roddenberry.
In DC Comics the lyrics were sung by the character Uhura,
who also sang a song Beyond Antares in the series.
The Star Trek Theme was composed by Alexander Courage.
Later, Gene Roddenberry wrote the lyrics.

Where No Man Has Gone Before

Beyond, the rim of the starlight

My love, is wandering in starflight

I know, he'll find in star clustered reaches...

Love, strange love a star woman teaches...

I know, his journey ends never

His Star Trek... will go on forever...

But tell him, while he wanders his starry sea

Remember.... Remember me

Beyond Antares as sung by Uhura / Nichelle Nichols
in Conscience of the King
Song Wilbur Hatch, Lyrics Gene Coon

The skies are green and glowing
Where my heart is
Where the scented lunar flower is blooming
Somewhere, beyond the stars
Beyond Antares

I'll be back, though it takes forever
Forever is just a day.
Forever is just another journey
Tomorrow a stop along the way

And let the years go fading
Where my heart is
2x love eternally is waiting
Somewhere, beyond the stars
Beyond Antares

2NE1 Japanese JPOP Group FIRE + Drag Parody

2NE1 Fire MV Space Version
Japanese Super Pop Group 27 million views on YT

2ne1 Fire Parody
Hilarious! Men in Drag!

Girls Generation - South Korean KPOP Super Group!

"The Boys" was just performed on David Letterman show
on 1/31/2012 - GG did Great! 
Korean Pop - Number One Girls Group South Korea
Girls Generation - HOOT! 17 million views.

This is a song from GG third album Hoot, a mini-Spy movie plot.  I'm showing it to you to illustrate the tremendously high production values in K-POP music videos, the sets, the costume changes, the detail, the choreography, right down to coordinated facial expressions and complimentary gestures.  As much care is put into the overall composition as in Flower Arranging.  If Samurai were still around today, making KPOP and JPOP videos would probably be one of their "arts".

I found this song irresistable, the rhythm and melody and chorus get stuck in your head.  Trouble, Trouble, Trouble, shoo shoo shoo!  :)  VROUK APPROVED.  The great James Bond type mini plot makes it GROOVY.

Here are some more mega hits, running from 33 to 59 million hits on you tube:
Mr. Taxi Dance Version

Nochiura Natsumi - Renai Sentai Shitsu Ranger JPOP

Nochiura Natsumi - Renai Sentai Shitsu Ranger
Really Good JPOP Song!

Same Song With Fake Subtitles - NSFW

Funny Twist!  Great JPOP Song!

Amii Stewart - Knock On Wood - Perfect DISCO

Fantastic Classic Video to a Number One Disco Hit!

Drag Queens and Female Impersonators Everywhere will SWOON when they watch this vintage video from the SEVENTIES of Amii Stewart performing her giant hit Knock On Wood.  Play this video big and loud on good speakers and get ready to throw the big arm and hand movements and let your inner DIVA perform right along with Amii.  I play this video whenever I need to feel a little better or to get my motor going.

Thank You Amii, if I were ever to lip synch on stage, I would want to duplicate your hair hat and dress and makeup and this routine exactly!  With the wild rainbow video feedback behind you projected behind me on stage, I'd bring down the house!  GROOVY DISCO.

World Famous Pontani Sisters GoGoRobics Burlesque

The World Famous Pontani Sisters

Their Stage Show has appeared several times on Conan O'Brian.
Go Go Robics
Go Go Dancing on Band Gigs

Angie Pontani welcomes you to the web site of the World Famous Pontani Sisters.

Paraphrases from the home page:
Named the Number One New Burlesque Act on Earth by AOL.
Glamour Gospel Queens bringing the sass of old Burlesque back.
"Everything they do is dipped in Glamour" from shimmying and shaking
in fringe to twirling golden lassos dressed in rhinestone cowgirl costumes.
They have over 40 on stage routines.

I first saw the World Famous Pontani Sisters Go Go Dancing on Stage with the Neanderthals on the Ghoul a Go Go show.  I was mesmerized by their superb Go Go dancing skills and became an instant fan.  I started looking for them on the net and found them EVERYWHERE!  How had I missed them all these years?  I don't know, but I'm glad I found them, and you will be too.  Look them up, you'll fall in love with their artistry.

VROUK APPROVED and GROOVY!  Love You Pontani Sisters!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

HigashiMurayama Japan Sister City Independence MO USA

  Sister City to Independence, Missouri, U.S.A.
Independence MO has a sister city HigashiMurayama Japan, a suburban town outside Tokyo, about 150K population. For 28 years there has been a student exchange, but the 29 was cancelled due to the Earthquake/Tsunami. If you go to their site, click English in upper right corner, then choose English again, and you will get "pigeon" on the fly translation of their web pages. They come every year to maintain a Japanese Garden they built on the back corner of the Indep. City Hall, very pretty. We apparently don't go there and do anything, except send some students. They have a totally wrong info page about Indep. buried deep in their site. I wish I could visit there and tell them all about our area and history. They have a Chinese sister city and they do tremendous things with them all the time.   I sent a nice letter of friendship to Mayor Watanabe, but he did not answer me.

Discorporate Actors Gone Not Forgotten

Actors who've discorporated.  (Left their Bodies) Sure enjoy their work.  Not a complete list, just a few from some of my favorite shows, etc.

The Munsters: Yvonne DiCarlo - Lily, Al Lewis - Granpa, Fred Gwynne - Herman.
Addams Family: Carolyn Jones - Morticia, Jackie Coogan - Uncle Fester, Blossom Rock - Grandmama, Ted Cassidy - Lurch & Thing
Star Trek: DeForrest Kelley - Dr. McCoy, James Doohan - Scotty, Nurse Chapel/Lwaxanna Troi/Computer Voice of Enterprise - Majel Roddenberry, Great Bird of the Galaxy - Gene Roddenberry, John Colicos, William Campbell, Merritt Butrick
Are You Being Served?  Mrs . Slocumbe - Mollie Sugden, Ms. Brahms - Wendy Richards, Mr. Humphries - John Inman, Mr. Grainger - Arthur Brough, Mr. Harman - Arthur English, Young Mr. Grace - Harold Bennett. Young Mr. Lucas - Trevor Bannister.
Keeping Up Appearances: Rose #2 - Mary Millar, Daddy - George Webb
As Time Goes By: Joan Sims - Madge Hardcastle, Frank Middlemass - Rocky Hardcastle, Moyra Fraser - Aunt Penny
Golden Girls: Dorothy - Bea Arthur, Blanche -  Rue McClanahan, Sophia - Estelle Getty
Beverly Hillbillies: Jed Clampett - Buddy Ebsen, Granny - Irene Hays, Pearl Bodine - Bea Benaderet, Milburn Drysdale - Raymond Bailey, Miss Jane Hathaway - Nancy Kulp,

Green Acres: Eddie Albert - Oliver Wendall Douglas, Eva Gabor - Lisa Douglas, Pat Buttram - Mr. Haney

Petticoat Junction: Kate - Bea Benaderet, Uncle Joe - Edgar Buchanan
Hogans Heroes: Hogan - Bob Crane, Werner Kemperer - Col. Klink, John Banner - Sergeant Schultz, Sergeant Carter - Larry Hovis, Sergeant Kinch - Ivan Dixon
Young Frankenstein: Elizabeth - Madeline Kahn,  Peter Boyle -Monster, Igor - Marty Feldman, Inspector Kemp - Kenneth Mars 
Dallas:  Miss Ellie - Barbara Bel Geddes,  Jock Ewing - Jim Davis,
Falconcrest:  Jane Wyman - Angela Channing
Laugh In:  Alan Sues, Henry Gibson, Dan Rowan, Dick Martin, Larry Hovis, Teresa Graves, Flip Wilson, Tiny Tim
Miscellaneous: Mr. French - Sebastian Cabot, Johnny Carson, Ed McMahon,

I remember you, you live in my heart. Thank You for all the pleasure you give.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Kirk / Spock "K/S" Homoerotic Trek Fandom

Kirk/Spock is a subset of Trek Fandom which choose to believe that the Captain and the Vulcan are homersexual symbiotes or something.  :)

Ever since the original series was on the air, fans (mostly female at first) have written what is called "fanfic" or fan authored fictional stories about Kirk and Spock being lovers.  For many years in the seventies all you had to do was whisper "KS" and Trekkers might giggle or roll their eyes.  Don't get me wrong, they were tolerant for the most part, but it still seemed like a taboo subject matter.  Like the female generated fanzine that included a nude foldout watercolor of Spock in the seventies.  Unusual.  Nowadays this kind of stuff seems quaint and belonging to the Victorian era or something.  Of course K/S has spawned any number of fanfic subjects that play "what if" with all sorts of combinations on all sorts of shows, but the K/S'ers blazed the way!  Pants Off To 'Em!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Ozark Hillbilly Depression Food

Click Link Above or Photo For Picture Album
My Mother and her parents used to eat these foods during the Great Depression and afterward.  They were common foods in the Ozark Hills of Missouri.  You don't much see anyone eating them in the big cities unless they are real Country Folk.

Grandpa especially liked to sit and chew and gnaw on chicken neck bones, pig's knuckles, chicken feet.  Her mom liked clabber milk and squeaky cheese.  Whenever they would butcher a hog, which was a very big deal, the whole neighborhood would come and help, and helpers got a part of the results.  One old bachelor from Germany who was dirt poor would come and work hard and in reward he would take the pig's blood, and go home and make blood sausage.  Nothing from the pig was wasted. 

Back then, you didn't waste food just because it might have been dropped on the ground, or had a little mold on it, etc. or worm holes.  When they briefly went to California looking for work and lived in a garage, my grandmother would take my young mom and they'd go in the alleys behind restaurants in Los Angeles and search the trash cans.  They'd find bread or cheese with a little mold on it, they just cut off the mold and it was fine.  If the vegetables were wilted or had spots, or were just tops and peels etc. they'd make soup out of it.  Nothing was wasted.  If you found an apple, cut the worm out of it.  Today's kids would yell EEEEWW and throw it away disgusted.  My mom would cringe at that.

My mom had to live by herself and run the house for a year during the depression when she was 14.  She had to tend the garden everyday after school to be sure she had food to eat.  She had to can food, trade with neighbors, be super careful spending the few dollars her Dad might send home from the road.  No one gave her anything, they couldn't afford to.  I don't think most the people alive today have any idea what it's really like during a bad Depression.  They keep talking like we're in one or close to one.  Hah.  Well, first thing they better do is start allowing chicken keeping in the suburbs, maybe if you have an acre allow a cow and pig too.  And people will learn real quick how to eat scraps and poor people food and things they'd rather die than eat now.

The foods in the picture album above are just some of the things off the top of my head, I'm sure I missed alot.  I'll try to add to it over time.  You can look up any of those things on the net and how to cook them, buy them, etc.

In case you didn't click on the Photo Album, here is a partial list of the foods: Cow Brains, Cow Tongue, Blood Sausage, Pork Cracklins, Pig's Feet, Pig's Knuckles, Chicken Feet, Pig's Ear, Cow's Intestines (Tripe), Chicken Gizzards, Chicken Livers, Ox Tails, Squeaky Cheese, Clabber Milk

Copyright 2011 VROUK

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Here Come The Mummies! 4000 Yr Old Funk Band

A Four Thousand Year Old Funk Band of Mummies Plays 
Attack of the Weiner Man Live
Weird with a Beard!

You can visit this Madison WI band at their web site
or search out their 39 Videos on YouTube including such hits as
Attack of the Weiner Man, You Gonna Eat All That?, Dirty Minds, Libido Knieval,
Booty, Funky Little Baby, Ra Ra Ra, TipToe, Single Entendre, Oozie, Cow Belt, more.
This band is GROOVY.

Prisecolinensinenciousol - Adriano Celentano

Prisecolinensinenciousol, a Parody by Italian Comedian Adriano Celentano for Mileluci on Italian TV.   He made up this gibberish and dance to make fun of what English sounds like to Italians.  Hilarious!  You can almost "hear" English words that aren't there.

And the DANCE NUMBER!  Imitating Americans doing a GROOVY Dance Number,
You will share it with your friends after you see it.  I especially love the angular bodies and head tosses and struts/mirrors, the harmonica, all the visual gags making fun of Americans of the era.  Just like the Romans thought that all non-Latin speakers sounded like baahing sheep, therefore the word Bar-Bar-ians meaning uncouth, these modern Italians have quite a funny fake Elvis sounding version of AmEnglish.  By the way, the Japanese think Americans sound like barking dogs!  And their term gaijin translates roughly to "round eyed bastards".  Hahaha!  I love finding out this stuff.

If you have never gone on YouTube and searched for videos of non English practicing their English speaking and accents, it's HILARIOUS.  Check it out.  That's how I found this video.

Cha Cha Heels - Die For Art - DIVINE

Cha Cha Heels for Christmas starring DIVINE
Excerpt from John Waters movie where character of Dawn Davenport ruins Christmas morning for her parents.  You'll want to play it again and again.  Especially poignant is the mother at the end plaintively crying "not on Christmas! not on Christmas!"
One of the most neurotic scenes of all time.  You'll want to memorize the dialogue.
Speaking of Divine, here are a few more scenes from her John Waters movies that are especially Weird:
Who Wants To Be Famous? Who Wants To Die for Art!

I Wish You Was Gay - Queers is Just Better!
Edith Massey God Bless Her! in that all time classic scene where she tries to get her grandson to go gay so she won't worry about him and girls.

How To Dance When You're High On Life

SundayFundayz Guys Video
How to Dance When You're High On Life
Okay, I know over a million have already seen this incredibly happy video, but just in case you have not, check it out!  It's Fun!  These guys are having so much fun you just want to dance with them!  They have a channel on youtube and also are on FB as SundayFundayz and Twitter same name.  They are dancing to bhangra music, that catchy music from Bollywood in India, and you can see they have practiced the Indian dance moves to perfection, complete with knowing the words and facial expressions.

Tunak Tunak Tun was the Song they are Dancing To

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

TWO LOVERS Gorgeous Sitar Music

From the Ali Akbar Khan album Garden of Dreams
A beautiful sitar music piece, my favorite for evocative emotion, very elegaic and poignant.
I believe Ali Akbar may be the son of Ravi Shankar.

If you've never heard this piece you are in for a treat!  Starts slow, but let it build, and remember it takes over thirty years to learn how to play the sitar like this.


May He Poop On My Knee?  A hilarious "fake translation" of a Benny Lava hindi music video by BugBen, subtitling in English what the hindi words "sound like" instead of the actual translation.  The Bollywood song/video kicks ass too!  HILARIOUS!  GROOVY!
I especially enjoy the mustard bottle, cracks me up every time, and the coke can.
NSFW (not suitable for work).

By the way, the star is Miss India who won Miss Universe, she must be one of the most beautiful women in the world.  Her original video is on YouTube also.



This is one of the strangest videos ever, therefore falls squarely into our GROOVY category of FUN videos.  VROUK Approved!
Both YOU and YOUR KIDS can dance yourself Silly to this Video!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The Ardwellian Chronicles - Dennis Young

I'd like to draw attention to an exciting series of fantasy novels called 
"The Ardwellian Chronicles" by author Dennis Young.
You can check out his blog via the above link.
Besides the stories being gripping, fascinating page turners set in a rich and vast fantasy universe, peopled with gritty, real, totally believable characters, it's fun that you can follow Dennis progress as he continues to write the ongoing novels in the series.

By "Liking" his FaceBook page: (click link)

Also, follow him on TWITTER.COM  
 I highly recommend you order his books from Amazon or ask for them at your local book store.   Dennis is also very accessible and provides many ways to contact him through his web sites.  

It's really cool to follow the creative process and get a peek into how a successful author spends their time, the nuts and bolts of writing.  I used to read "how to" books for being a "writer" but they never spelled out what an author actually did hour for hour day for day.  Now, you can finally follow that process through Dennis.
VROUK Approved.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Pierre Pascual - Sous Les Sycomores

Pierre Pascual - Sous Les Sycomores (Integral Music Video)
Pierre Pascual - Sous Les Sycomores (Integral Music Video)
(almost twenty minutes)
Released on Sept. 30 2010
Directed by Mick Bulle
Artistic Direction : Pierre Pascual
With : Pierre Pascual, Aurore Tome', Thierry Chollet-Berger, Henriette Coulouvrat, Angela Transbury, Rebecca Johnson James, Servane Varnese, Stanislas Briche, Anne Laure Séguette, Elsa Bontempelli & Nathanael Agasvari.  Pierre Pascual own web site.  Facebook Page
High quality on Vimeo :

Strong artistic statement.
HyperReality slicing visceral spiritual vignettes
and morsels of 'elan and ennui.
Psychic manifestations of the subconcious,
In the style of Fellini/Jung post Neorealism.
Beautifully conceived and executed.
Music whispers Depeche Mode, The Cure,
Kraftwerk, Devo, Bauhaus, but is unique & ethereal.     VROUK Approved.

(Viewing tip: if you're having trouble with the looong run time, try viewing it first time through with no sound, then second time add the sound.  This forces you to absorb the rich visual train first - uncomplicated by the emotive evocation of the soundtrack.)

Thursday, October 20, 2011


Pink Floyd - Pow R Toc H
From the first album
Piper at the Gates of Dawn 1967

I was ten years old, thought I was pretty cool.  Was really into hippie stuff.  Saved my money and bought this weird weird record with psychodelic colors all over it and a totally weird title, by a group I had heard the name of from "hip" visitors we'd had from California.  They were 12 and smoked and cussed a blue streak and could sing all the Beatle songs.  So of course when I saw this "Pink Floyd"  *giggle*
album in Woolworths, I surreptiously bought it, hid it on the top shelf of my closet because I knew if my mom saw it I'd get a huge lecture about that "hippie crap".  So I'd sneak it out and listen when no one else was at home.  I thought this song was So Weird! and thought the band must not be very good, except the other instrumental, Interstellar Overdrive had a cool name because I devoured Science Fiction books.   Well, I kept it for five or six years.  In the meantime I got into increasingly harder rock, heavy rock etc.  I started buying all the Black Sabbath albums from the first one.  Mountain. Moody Blues. Deep Purple. I sold the Piper album at a garage sale for a nickel.  

I didn't get back into Pink Floyd until Animals.  
See what you think of this early unusual Pink Floyd.  
I still laugh to myself when I think of the title of the album.
So sixties.  So hippie.  So deep.
Or was it just marketing?

Copyright 2011 Lyle Van Sciver


Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts
Quixotic Arts
Opening Night Gala Performance
Projections, Spatial Dancers and Fireworks
on the OUTSIDE of the Kauffman Center!!!
This just over four minute video captures the truly amazing Opening Night Projections performance by Quixotic Arts
that transformed the outside of the new 
Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts
into the most modern spectacular projection, dance, light show that you will have EVER seen up to now!  Truly Amazing!  If you have not seen it, do it full screen and pay attention, be ready to not move the whole time.  And remember, inside the Center there are fantastic Opening Gala performances going on with such stars as Placido Domingo, Itzhak Perlman, Diana Krall, Tommy Tune, Patti Lupone and more!  Those tickets were extremely expensive and limited, but we can all enjoy this video.


 Galaxina the Android, desperately loved the First Officer of her spaceship, and kept upgrading herself to be better than a human female. Ultimately she ordered the final upgrade to please him, a real vagina from Earth!

Canadian centerfold, actress and cult celebrity Dorothy Stratten was Galaxina. She was born in 1960, and murdered by her husband in 1980.
Her new first film Galaxina had just premiered in Kansas City, Missouri.

Bad Movies is a web site with a GREAT Summary and Review of Galaxina,
Please check them out.  No need for me to write it up when they did such a good job.
Once you read their review, you'll know the names of all the characters and the plot, then
I recommend you view the photo gallery above so it will make more sense to you.

You'll have to hit your back button to return here.

If you want to read about a movie made about the tragic short life of Dorothy Stratten,
check out the movie Star 80.  Here's a summary at IMDB:
You'll have to hit your back button to return here.

At the end of the photo gallery above are some newspaper clippings that also give some info about Dorothy Stratten.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011


Most Kids Know About Cooties.
BOYS HAVE COOTIES (and they are stoopid!)
You can GET COOTIES by TOUCHING a Boy or Girl Who Has Them
Cooties are GROSS!!!
Kids will RUN SCREAMING to avoid getting Cooties.
Crossing Your Fingers can keep you from getting Cooties.
Crossing Your Fingers Double is Absolute Protection.
If you "give" someone Cooties by "tagging them", if you shout "Cooties Cooties NO TAG BACK!" then they cannot transmit them back to you.  They must find a new victim.  
You can Get Rid  Of The Cooties by touching another person and yelling COOTIES!
People can leave their "Cooties" all over things.
That is why people will say "your Cooties are all over this whatever"
Also, people will avoid areas or people saying "they have Cooties"
When Kids grow up, they transfer their beliefs about Cooties to Germs, Parasites, Fungus, Virus and other unseen icky things.
A "Girl" who is ESPECIALLY rampant with Cooties is a "COOTIE QUEEN"

There is an informative web site made by a Lady who cans food.
She is an artist and has used her art to show Cooties that can make you sick.
Canning Cootie Web Site, Click Link Above, This is her Artwork!

Copyright 2011 VROUK


At least half of these I have heard out of the mouths of my relatives, and the rest from other citizens of the down in the country persuasion.  I love the homespun sayings from "down in the hills" and am pleased to share it with you.  Enjoy! 

I've got a catch in my getalong
well I'll be dipped in gook   
I'll snatch you bald headed! 
cattycorner   on diagonally opposite corners
cattywompus   something out of kilter, twisted, gone wrong, bent out of shape  
out of kilter  not quite right 
Jesus H. Christ  
your mouth looks like a chickens ass in pokeberry time  
fixin or afixin to go
i aim to go to town
crick for creek
shore for sure
oral for oil  
worsh for wash
be there directly
fetch this or that
take a gander at  
that there bird
gully washer  
hankerin for
lives in the holler
go down in the hills and yell (name) and they come runnin
what parts do you'all come from?
looking peaked
plumb worn out
for a spell
that smarts   
Miz-zur-ree  (at least in our family)
crack the door open
just a smidge or smidgen
lower than a snakes belly in a wagon wheel rut
dag nabbit!
dang near killed me   
liked to kill me   
reckon something will happen
had a falling out
all you'all
its a grocery sack not a bag
colder than a witches tit in a brass brassiere
wet your whistle   
tickled me (made me happy) 
mess of potatoes
bless your heart   
sit a spell
come and give me some sugar 
....I'm just sayin
book larnin   
i need to get with john about that
how ya doin? fair ta middlin. 
be there in two shakes   
God willing and the creekdont rise   
cut me a switch from the tree   
you'll be in a heap of trouble
dad gum it
bless his little pea pickin heart
raining cats and dogs    
i nearly fell over
cuttin up in class
as old as the hills and twice as dusty
old as dirt   
dont mind if I do
oh pshaw! (like I dont believe it, get outta here)
cuttin a kido (driving like a maniac)  
I'll fix your wagon!  
lolly gaggin   
hide nor hair of you  
in a coon's age
well, what's your hurry?
come back when you can stay longer
glad you got to see me
borry instead of borrow
watch your mouth
don't be tellin tales
fixins for a recipe
I might can do that
these here parts
round these parts
don't go off half cocked 
close the door, you think we live in a barn?
were you raised in a barn?
closing the barn door after the horses got out 
I gathered as much, I figured as much  
yessirree bob
a right fur piece
a right good bit ago
he took out a runnin
come back thisaway, go back over thataway
rootin thru this mess  
sop it up with a biscuit  
it's lerrrpin! (extra special good)
well don't that beat all
bright eyed & bushy tailed  
feeling feisty  
feeling puny  
stick to your ribs  
that'll put hair on your chest 
i could eat a horse 
rode hard and put away wet
sweatin like a pig  
i'm passin out  
makin a mountain out of a mole hill
not worth a hill a beans 
you are even stupider than you look
happier than a pig in shit
cow pissin on a flat rock 
talkin out of your hat
madder than an old wet hen
fart in a whirlwind
as busy as a one armed paper hanger
like a one legged man in an ass kickin contest
shoot fire and save matches
I'll wup the tar out of you
dont trust him any farther than I can throw him
dont you never mind aabout that or them
talkin up a storm  
nekkid as a jaybird
short as the day is long
mind your p's and q's  
plum tuckered out  
for cryin out loud 
what in tarnation?
filling station  
slick as snot  
like shit thru a goose
as useless as tits on a boar hog
eatin high on the hog  
get off your high horse
too big for your britches  
chester drawers  
not worth the powder it would take to blow them to hell
somethin awful
gettin on my last nerve
tickled my funny bone
you get my drift
like a bull in a china shop 
you ain't got no gumption  
gol durn it
give em an inch and they take a mile
as the crow flies  
i'll be there directly
like nobodies business 
I'm stuffed  
I'm all blowed up (like a hop toad)
I'm all stove up
I aim to do that tomorrow
all torn up
you'd best not 
I'm bound and determined 
i got burnt out on trying to please him
on the contrary
get your cotton picken self over here
drove a country mile
didnt trust him worth a darn
up at the crack of dawn  
zero dark thirty
up before the chickens  
went ahead and did it  
you just egged him on and on 
the daughter sure favors her mother
no more of your foolishness
tom foolery
don't fret now
she can't hardly get about anymore 
I am plumb wore out
I am give out
my tired is tired  
I hear tell she's gettin married
three sheets to the wind 
gonna have a hissy fit  
hold your horses  
we're hurtin for money
he cant hold a job, let alone support his family
let it rolloff like water off a ducks back
like greased lightning
he lit out of here
he made out like he didnt see us  
pretty please with sugar and honey on it? 
you mind what I said
I'd be much obliged
I got nary a one
no count good for nothin  
wait on you hand and foot 
no way, no how  
it shouldnt hurt you none
I'm not about to go over there 
I ought to 
pay him no mind 
peeled out
petered out  
all you do is pick at me  
you're piddling around when you should be studying 
look at that piddlin little thing  
lets play like we won the lottery
playin possum  
we'll be there plenty early  
I plumb forgot about it
we're going to put out some flower bulbs 
I'll make you rue the day you were born  
don't rightly know about that
run this over to grannies house
he ran his mouth
dont back talk me!
dont sass me
smack dab in the middle
she's around here somewheres
sorry excuse for
put a stob in it to mark it
little whipstitch
took leave of her senses
shes always taking up for him
I Thanky
i'll have some of them there apples
they give me the heebie jeebies!
he came down with a cold
took sick
turn it loose before it bites you
he used to could dance up a storm
baby's cryin, I reckon she wants up
tan your hide
gonna wear out your hide
it's a long ways from here
they wore me out
she's a worry wart
i done did that
look up under the bed
mickey mouse contraption
where is my wallet? it's right cheer!
it's in my pocket book
hike up your drawers
bloomers is showin
lands sakes
sakes alive
heavens to betsy
glom onto something
I dont recollect
hot damn
give a good god damn
holy shit, holy crap
well doggies
yee haw
con sarn it
cough it up!
get a roundtuit
doin the cypherin
let me tote it up
well I be

all hell broke loose
it was assholes and elbows
yer darn tootin
ass backwards
toot your own horn
shut your mouth, shut my mouth
laid up
not gonna take it layin down
my toofies or teefies hurt
my legs are killin me
I liked to died
this here
all riled up
piss ants
smells bad enough to knocka buzzard off a shit wagon
dumber than a box of rocks
dumber than dirt
not a happy camper
ugly enough to scare the children
don't bad mouth him
his chickens came home to roost
your mighty fetchin in that dress
are you wearin stink pretty?
foolin around
ah got a good notion to
ain't got a grain of sense, speck of sense
dead as a doornail
he cant hold a job, let alone support his family
those pants need to be let out
we dont have time to clean so give it a lick and a promise
nekkid as a jaybird
dont make no nevermind to me
ain't she the purtiest thing you ever seen?
preachin to the choir
come in the house, raht now! this instant!
dont carry on like that
oh my gosh you'd think I killed your dog!
give me a hollar
pitch dark
the wee hours
lemme see
I suppose
mindin my own business
knee high to a grasshopper
built like a brick shithouse
well slap me silly and call me lucille!

than all get out
bust out laughing
good gravy!  or just  Gravy!
good grief!
what the hell is the matter with you?
are you sick in the head?
thats just crazy talk
miss goody two shoes
and how!
white man speak with forked tongue
indian giver!
look at that yahoo!
are you puttinme on?  is this a put on?
pull the wool over my eyes
i may be old but im not dead yet
cant cut the mustard, but can still lick the jar
hell yeah!
hell no!
give me a break
do I look stupid?
yella belly
yep, yeppers, yepindeedy
your skatin on thin ice!
your neck of the woods
give you a shout
you'll figger it out
they think they are so high and mighty!
take you down a peg or two
johnny come lately
smooth talker

Copyright 2011 VROUK

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

BEVERLY HILLBILLIES Mr. Drysdale and Miss Hathaway

Mr. Milburn Drysdale and Miss Jane Hathaway
My mom and I stood in line outside the Grand Opening of a long gone Savings and Loan in Gaslight Square in Independence Missouri back around 1970, so that we could file inside and take our turn meeting Mr. Drysdale and Miss Hathaway. They shook our hands and gave us a fake dollar bill with Mr. Drysdale's picture instead of a President. They were so nice, especially Miss Hathaway, she was warm and friendly and geniunely "there". I understand Ellie still appears at mall openings and such. Would love to meet her.

I Was The Voice in the JACK in the BOX CLOWN

I worked graveyard shift senior year of high school, ten pm to 6 am, then to school. Always tired, did I do homework? Hah! Fell asleep during graduation practice.

I was locked in at the first Jack in the Box in Independence, on Noland Road, by myself. Only the drive thru was open while I cleaned the whole store, and served the after bar crowd.  Drunk people are really hungry, but they all think they are hilarous to give the Clown some grief, and getting their order could be quite a challenge, especially if they fell asleep at the Clown.

Breakfast Jacks, Jumbo Jacks, Super Taco's, I had to make the full menu while trying to clean the deep fryers and grill and floors etc., restock, windows, all of it.   If the bar rush was heavy, and the early early risers were heavy, and the morning shift were late and didn't get there at six, sometimes I'd be worked to a frazzle and was late for school.  That was the first drive through window on Noland Road. 

Yes... I was the voice of the Clown head in the drive thru at 3am being cursed out by drunks. *sigh* The thing I disliked most was the in-store satellite musak repeated every hour, all night long, the same one hour of songs. 8 replays of elevator instrumental of Bohemian Rhapsody, and then, here comes that dam Muskrat Love again. Argh!!!

Copyright 2011 VROUK

SYBIL DANNING - Saint Xman of the Valkyrie

Sybil Danning as St. Xman of the Valkyrie
in the 1980 super CAMP Classic

"Battle Beyond the Stars" 
that made fun of all space movies and was ultra campy with 
John Boy Walton as the star.

Sybil was a space warrior queen who sacrificed herself to save the planet.
Her motto "Live Fast, Die Well, And Have A Beautiful Ending!"
She said "if you don't know what I mean by a beautiful ending,
then you've never seen a Valkyrie go down".

Her ship exploded in galactic fireworks display, taking out three evil ships.
Battle Beyond The Stars is a Space Satire that makes fun of every other space movie
in a Magnificent Seven from outer space framework.
The Trailers on youtube suck, they all paint it as serious when its a joke movie.
Sybil was in many other movies, but this was my favorite.

SASSY - My Little Baby Girl Dog Died

Montage of Sassy Type Photos from the Net

37 yrs ago. My little baby girl, Sassy, passed away.  She was a black and tan mix of coonhound and dachsund, tiny runt of her litter, born last.  Her mom, a red dachsund struggled for an hour pushing up against the box springs, under my bed, trying to force the last one out.  Finally, exhausted, she did it, and crawled out and up onto the mattress of the bed where we had put all her other puppies after she had cleaned them off one by one.  She laid down next to them and didn't move.  I reached under and pulled out the tiny fluid sac with puppy still in it, and laid it by her mouth, and kept encouraging the mother, Hot Dog, to help.  She finally licked off the sack and the puppy started wailing a tiny little wail.  Hot Dog licked the fluids out of it's nose and mouth, it was half the size of the other others, and it wailed back at her the whole time.  My mother said "it sure is Sassy!" and the name stuck.  It was a little girl. Hot Dog fell back in a swoon, and the puppies latched on to her teats.  Sassy did not seem to have the right instincts.  My mom knew the formula for feeding baby cats and dogs, made with milk and egg yolks and honey, and we scrounged up an old small baby bottle, and I hand fed "Sassy" who was a little female.  She'd suck and wail, suck and wail.  We weren't sure she'd make it.

 To make a long story short, the next day, Hot Dog developed calcium deficiency epilepsy, seized on the front porch, and all her teats became rock hard.  To save her life, I had to massage her teats three times a day with camphor oil and attempt to squeeze curdled milk out of them, or break it up.  Her body had robbed itself of all calcium to make the milk, triggered the epilepsy and everything broke down.  She could not feed the puppies and she almost died.  So I hand fed all the puppies.  All the others were quickly given away and my brother took Hot Dog with him, but I kept Sassy.  I had her for six years.  Those pics at the top are not her, I lost her pics in a computer crash, but they are very close.

Sassy was my baby girl.  We were extremely close.  She slept with me, often head on my pillow, her back snuggled to my front.  If I was not home, she knew when the door was me or someone else.  My mom says she'd come home, open the door, calling for Sassy, and find her lying on my bed, head on my pillow. She'd raise her head slightly, look at my mom as if to say "you're not Lyle" and lay back down with a big sigh.  Then, when I'd come home, she leap out of bed, run to the door barking and scratching until I could get the door open then about knock me down.

Eventually when she had been through being in "heat" or estrus, and the huge strain that put upon the family, and the neighbors.  She howled all night.  Packs of dogs gathered outside.  She constantly tried to get away to run with the dogs.  The vet convinced me she should be spayed.

After she was spayed, she started having little "seizures" where she'd stop, tremble, bite her tongue, foam would come out of her mouth, and she'd pee herself.  During these, I could not get her jaw pried open to stop her from biting her own tongue.  She'd growl, and seem hostile during them.  I suspected something had gone wrong durng the spaying, maybe a nerve had been damaged, I didn't know what?  The vet gave medicine to control seizures, and for a year I forced the pill down her throat.  She was adept at seperating it from dry dog food and spitting it out, and if I crushed it she'd avoid it altogether, for days if she had to.  So it was coat it with butter, and force it down her throat followed by food to make her swallow it.

It turned out she had inherited some kind of epileptic strain from her mother, and the fits got worse and worse, longer and longer.  In between she knew me less and less.  During them she would bite if you got near her.  I was the only one that could get near her during a fit and even then I had to really watch it.  I'd hold her down until it subsided and clean her up, but she no longer knew me.  She'd started leaping off the bed when the fit hit and hit her head on the floor and got big bumps.  She'd soil the bed and floor, no control. When she started trying to bite my mother when I was not home, I knew I had to let her go as the Vet had been suggesting.  He'd told me I was being cruel to Sassy to keep her suffering just because I could not bear to think of being without her.  That if I really loved her, I'd allow her to peacefully go to sleep and stop suffering.

So one fine summer day, I bundled her into a blanket to minimize her struggling in the car, by then she was so sick she didn't fight much.  She tried not to vomit during the car ride, she was such a good girl.  I carried her in, and the Vet took me right back and had me lay her on her side on the cold shiny metal table waist high.  She struggled, her claws scrabbling trying to stand up, but I hugged her chest and hind and held her head down with my head.  She looked up into my eyes, trusting me completely, with the love she had always given me unconditionally - she knew me in that last mnute.  I cooed to her kept telling her what a good girl she was and how much I loved my little baby and she barely jerked when the vet put the needle in her leg.  I kept staring into her eyes and he said it won't be long... and I saw the light just go out in her eyes.  She didn't close them, or move, but I knew she was gone.  I looked at him and he closed her eyes and I broke down bawling and sobbing so hard I couldn't breathe.  He asked "do you want us to take care of her?" and all I could do was nod yes and I started race walking thru the halls to the lobby and burst out the doors running.  When I got outside the sobbing rasps trying to draw breath were so loud, I got in my car and just started driving, I don't even know where I went, I couldn't see very good for the crying and sobbing.  Every time I started thinking of heading home the body wracking grief would keep me driving.

It's been 37 years, and still I feel my chest shut down, I can't breathe, I get totally upset with an anxiety attack and jumpy and anything sets me off and I bawl like a baby.  I can't go through the memories, my heart is still broken.  If you ever had a tiny dog who was your baby, and quite possibly the only other creature in the world that ever loved you besides your own mother, then you can understand.  I have been unable to have a pet since then.  It's too painful.

Copyright 2011 VROUK



I was a pro wedding and party and club DJ for a year in 86, I was a DJ working for a Mobile Company in K.C.  I did receptions from 50 to 500, parties, clubs, reunions, etc. But specialized in wedding receptions where brides always wound up writing thank you letters and recommending me to all their friends.

Of course most of that was due to the extensive training I received from "the Master" DJ at the service. No one was better at weddings.  He made sure I worked hard learning the grunt work, then accompanying him on countless gigs as an observer and assistant. It was almost six months before he let me do a reception on my own, and even then he snuck in the back and observed me, checking with the family unbeknownst to me.  He is a fantastic teacher and business man and talent.  He did not unleash new DJ's on customers unless he was sure they were totally ready.  After every gig, he reviews with his DJ's.

My goal was to be sure the bride floated out of the room on Cloud Nine when she left the reception, having had a wonderful time.  I also wanted the groom and the families happy and all the guests to have a truly good time.  Something for everyone.

So... I'm sharing some quickly typed up information in case you are getting married and/or planning a wedding reception where you would like to have a professional Mobile DJ Service provide their services.  I suggest you might give this a read, it might give you some ideas or questions you can go over with your own DJ provider, to make sure you have a great time.  I wish you joy.

Is someone going to "coordinate" the whole reception for you as a "live" leader from the time the help sets up to guests leave? Will these duties be shared amongst some family member/s, caterer, and the DJ? or an emcee?  Just wonderin.

A fact that always amazed me was that no matter how many wedding receptions people had been to, even the parents, when the real thing began, they all got amnesia and did not know what to do, when to do it, or how to make the reception go smoothly, this is where I would step in and "run" the reception for them coordinating with the caterer and photog and family and friends. They were always extremely grateful to have someone who was not in shock and knew what to do take charge at the event.  A quick rundown of things that usually happen at a reception is:

Bride and groom are spotted approaching the door, a look out tells the DJ who plays the wedding march as they enter the reception, and announces them over speakers as married couple name.

DJ then makes announcements or gives mike to family rep who tells attendees when food line will be open, when toast will be, there will be pauses for photo ops, and announcements soo everyone will know when cutting cake, feeding each other pieces, opening of food buffet or food is served, make sure everyone gets a drink ready for the toast, toasts (usually after people have their food ready to eat) then everyone eats including couple, then photo ops with couple.

Dj or one running schedule makes sure to check with photog and caterer all the time to be sure they are getting enough time for each step.

When people are mostly done eating, should do removing of the garter, tossing of bouquet, announce that there will be first dance, dad/daughter dance and mom/son dance if doing that, money dance if doing that, then ask all guests to stay and enjoy dancing and food until hall has to be vacated, couple may sneak out at any time then or after they have done some fun dances with friends and family such as hokey pokey, shout, maybe a stroll line, polka, in the mood.

Music for older guests should be played early on cuz they want to go home. :) oh yeah, older folks like the lights on full to dance, younger ones like it real dark.  If you want the scene where friends \fam see you off in car, then announce when leaving so they can go outside (take pics inside if already dark) if not leaving early, then can circulate to all tables.

Some people open presents, some don't.  Just be sure someone is watching them, strangers will walk in to reception or church and just pick up envelopes or gifts and walk off with them.
If you are not going to open them at reception, then have a trusted person pack them up and take them home and lock them up.  IF there are any family sensitive issues, be sure they are discussed with DJ, caterer, photog, in advance of reception start, so they do what bride and groom want.

Usually DJ takes cues from whomever is paying them, unless bride overrides it.  It is critically important to get this settled and clear up front with everyone.  You don't want the paid people trying to follow conflicting orders. Be sure each paid person knows who is going to pay them and when, and you be sure its provided for, if you are leaving early.

And an outline should be made on paper for the emcee/dj/reception leader whoever it is, to go by.  Dont be afraid to put times on it, what time to start each thing, how long to allow etc.  This will help emcee.  Even how you want the Bride and Groom announced in terms of married names.

The special family gotchas include: Such as only announce certain peoples names, don't do certain family dances, don't let certain guests on the microphone, etc. to keep the peace or whatever. The Bride & Or the person paying gets to decide.

Just remember that a great reception is kept moving along promptly with a good emcee or dj or family member running things and doing announcing of how things will go, what is coming up so can get cameras ready, get your drink, get in place, go to bathroom, etc. a well informed crowd is a happy crowd, and couple gets all their photos and everything runs smoothly and they either dance their buns off with their friends and family till the wee hours, or get the main things done dance a little then do your escape.

Be sure someone is in charge of cleanup and being sure place is vacated on time, dont you do that. lean on your friends, they want to help.  Remember the DJ and caterer need "load out" time with the lights on, before doors are locked.

Turning lights low can get people to dance.  Happy couple going to tables and taking people by hands can start dance floor filling.  I would usually play softer slower love mood music before and after couple arrived while people eating and rituals observed, and make sure I had gone over the couples music list for first song etc. and faves they wanted to be sure got played.

I always took requests pleasantly and said I'd see what I could do to work them in to the choices the couple really loved. If people requested songs the couple wanted anyway, I'd announce them as requests by so and so, or by the couple. :) People are happy if the DJ takes their request and smiles and sincerely says they'll try.  If it does not get played, it's not that bad, especially if the DJ shows the requestor the list of music the married couple has requested.

If you are not having a pro DJ service, but a friend do music, then have an outgoing, bossy but nice family member or friend do the emceeing to keep the reception clicking along.  Everyone leaves happy, especially the bride and groom floating on air happy, knowing their reception went well and was fun.

So it's important to have someone "run" it live at the time, not too bossy, but keeping things moving and reminding everyone what happens next, giving time for photos both by photog and family snaps.  These are the receptions everyone remembers as being a blast, whether they end with small groups of family and friends sitting drinking and yakking in the dim light or younger friends dancing their asses off until they are kicked out of the place.

Whether the couple leaves early to go on trip, or go home and change, whether they come back or not, having someone "run" it gives the bride and groom peace of mind that all will get done and they dont have to worry.  If you are paying for catering, dj, photog etc. it can't hurt to remind them before reception that their most important goal is to have the bride and groom float out the door on cloud nine, it is your special day! Everything else should be geared to that.

Second is to have all your guests be happy and have fun in their own ways.  And to let your friends participate and feel needed and that they helped if they want to.  I hope you'll have a wonderful day full of love.  Any bad weather will miss you completely or just serve to make the air smell fresh and clean.

Don't forget, if you and your family had a good time thanks to the DJ service, write them an actual letter they can use as a reference, and recommend them to your friends. They get most of their business that way.

Some wedding reception songs that used to be good in the eighties (most of them).  Sorry I'm not "up" on the nineties and later.  Most Pro DJ Services have song lists to give you organized by theme and time period etc. and you just check off songs you like.

if you leave, OMD, love mood
take my breath away, Berlin, love mood
celebrate, kool and the gang, dance floor filler
old time rock and roll, bruce springsteen, dance floor filler
in the mood, glenn miller orchestra, big band swing for older peeps, fills the floor
the stripper, David Rose, good for mood for removing the garter
beer barrel polka, frankie yankovic, polka for older
who stole the keishka?, frankie yankovic, polka (who stold the big old sausage)
jump (for my love), pointer sisters, dance floor filler
dancing on the ceiling, lionel richie, great following jump especially mixed in
Daddy's Little Girl, great for father daughter dance
Mother, Pal and Sweetheart, great for mother son dance
you can't touch this, fun time dance
hokey pokey, fun group dance all ages
cotton eyed joe, rednex, fast dance
brick house, commodores, floor filler
you dropped a bomb on me, floor filler
west end girls, pet shop boys, old fave
don't go, yaz, old new age dance fave
Bela Lugosi's Dead, Bauhaus, for the goths and vampires in the house
How soon is now, the Smiths, another for the odd bunch
Relax, frankie goes to hollywood, floor filler dance
you spin me right round, dead or alive, dance club floor filler, not that flo rid a crud
takin care of business, bachman turner overdrive, floor filler
what you need, inxs, popular dance
the men all pause, klymaxx, popular dance
nasty, janet jackson, pop dance
hound dog, elvis
one thing leads to another, the fixx, good dance
don't stop believin, journey, very popular again
r.o.c.k. in the u.s.a. mellencamp, popular
addicted to love, robert palmer, popular dance
we got the beat, the gogo's, floor filler
beat it, michael jackson, popular dance
rock lobster, the b52-s, classic
love shack, b52's, classic
word up! cameo, great dance
Get down tonight, KC and the sunshine band, floor filler
footloose, kenny loggins, everybody knows,
wonderful tonight, clapton, slow dance
unchained melody, righteous brothers, slow dance everyone knows
get this party started, pink, floor filler  (okay this one is modern)
shout, isley brothers, from animal house soundtrack is best, group dance favorite
your song, elton john, slow dance
love train, the ojays, old favorite
respect, arethra franklin, old favorite
the twist, chubby checker, older people may dance
shake your body down to the ground, jackson five, good dance
how will I know?, whitney houston, old fave
my heart will go on, celine dion, slow love song, or can use dance mix
Holiday, Madonna, floor filler
Into the groove, Madonna, floor filler

 Copyright 2011 VROUK