Vast Reservoir Of Useless Knowledge: January 2012

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Ether Cigar Disaster! Cassette Catastrophe & Vomit

Here is a True Story that happened to me:

Once Upon a Time, Many Years Ago on a Winter Evening in Kansas City Missouri:
I was driving center lane, in evening rush hour traffic jam, on Interstate 435 highway Northbound on the long straight hill approaching the I-70 cloverleaf. It was sleeting and snowing but traffic was zooming at 45mph.

Back then my poor old Ford Escort already stank inside from age, so I started smoking cigars on the hour commute. I had stopped for a burger and shake before getting on the highway home, and inhaled them. I had a full fast food coke in the center cup holder, and an almost empty pretzel bag on passenger seat, with about a cup of loose salt at the bottom. On the passenger floor was my tall - rubber fur lined - snow boots which I took off to better work the pedals on the drive home. Also on the passenger floor was my open cassette case with 75 music cassettes, bare in their slots. In the back seat was an aerosol spray can of ETHER I'd used that morning to spray in my carburetor to get the car started. OK, I had to set the stage so you'd understand what happened very quickly.

OK! - I had lit a new large Joya de Nicaragua cigar and had puffed it up hard so it had a cherry red big glowing coal on the tip. I could hold it in my mouth and puff and blow the smoke up and to the side and not need hands until the ash needed tipping. I was puffin, digesting my meal, cruising home, blasting some tunes super loud. (I'd mounted Jensen Triaxial 6x9's inside some home speaker mini cabinets and had them wedged in hatchback area, with a 50 watt amp which was large at the time.)

Suddenly cars in front slammed brakes! A sea of red taillights up ahead! I tried to the keep car steady but i was going to have to brake hard in a few seconds. I reached the "vee" of my two fingers of my right hand up to remove the cigar and put it in the ashtray quickly, and instead closed my fingers right on the cherry red flaming hot coal tip.

YARGH!!! I Screamed and flung the cigar forward, hard, by reflex. Most of the flaming coal broke off against the dashboard gauge cluster and ricocheted right into my polyester slack's crotch! The rest of the cigar, still burning, laid against the speedometer plastic window, melting it. I started shrieking as the coal burned through my pants, trying to control the car and not wreck. The coal burned thru just below my zipper bottom, burned thru my underwear and burned my thighs and naughty parts, then sat in the butt hole area of my pants burning a hole in them and the seat. My fingers were also screaming in pain.

I tried to stand while driving, literally scooting my butt up the back of the driver seat until the steering wheel stopped me, and had to "stand" on the pedals. I could not sustain that stance and kept sliding back down, sitting on the live coal and jumping back upward, shouting.

Time was up! This had all happened in two seconds, and now I had to brake Hard to avoid smashing into the slow down ahead. Three things happened the moment I hit the brakes hard. The Large cup of Coca Cola dumped forward into the case full of music cassettes, and was quickly followed by all the salt from pretzel bag. All of the business end of the tapes was now floating in salt and coca cola.

The third thing? Oh not much. Just the can of Ether Spray for starting engines shot forward, hit the back of my seat, knocked off it's lid, and bounced/rolled under my driver seat - wedging the can with the spray nozzle in full spray mode. The Escort quickly filled with ether mist, coating all the windows with an oily slime. Now, I cannot see.

I had to stop shrieking, because I figured if I breathed in the Ether Fog, I was dead. I steered with my burned hand, trying to keep my a-hole off the fire in the seat, and used my other hand to roll down the window and stick my head out, and somehow I managed to swerve through the cars on the fast left lane and come to a stop in a slush bank.

I figured anything was better than breathing any more of the Ether so I flung open the door and jumped out in my stocking feet into the slush and stood there coughing. I managed to fish the spray can out, and somewhat air out the car. I could hardly see my eyes were stinging so. I used napkins and slush to smear enough of the oily coating off the inside of the windshield to see to finish driving home. Then I got back in the running car, with frozen wet feet. The coal had burned all the way thru the seat and I put some slush in the hole and put my coat on it and sat on that, altho I could hardly sit from the burns.

As soon as the adrenaline rush died down as I sat back in the car and shut the door, the fumes hit me with instant nausea and I immediately projectile vomited the entire chocolate milk shake in one big arc which evenly divided itself between my two fur lined snow boots.

That night I discovered the damage to the tapes. I tried to save them, but they were a total loss. So I know you are having a bad day and I am sorry what happened to you, but I thought if I shared this true story you might feel better.

Copyright 2012 VROUK

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Live Radio Around the World on the Web

NHK Radio from Japan

Click This Link To Choose and Listen

BBC Radio from United Kingdom

Click This Link To Choose and Listen

ABC Radio from Australia

Click This Link To Choose and Listen

NPR Radio from United States

Click This Link To Choose and Listen

RECEIVING SOFTWARE PROGRAMS:

To successfully listen to "streams" "live" over the internet, you must have a range of "listening" programs installed and always "up to date". Some Common Players: RealPlayer (the free version is OK), Windows Media Player, Quicktime (plain), WinAmp.

If the "station" won't play on one, try another.

STILL WON'T PLAY: there will be stations that won't "play". A problem at the broadcasters "server", a problem matching "signal" with receiving program or version, or a channel you successfully get quits working. Either the sender turned on "security" to limit signal to "members", or they changed "versions" or signal type, or their "server" is simply broken, or they are "off the air", or your receiving program has changed in some way, or the internet pipe between is different at the moment.

IF YOU CAN'T GET A STATION - RELAX!

This is why you should be flexible and just choose something else.

If it's super important, reinstall and update your receiving programs, test them with other broadcasters, and finally contact the broadcaster.

TIMING: In some cases like local Japanese stations, you'll discover they

only broadcast four hours a day, and are closed when you are awake.

CHURCHES and similar organizations: Even though they all claim to be "live" on the web, they are run mostly by volunteers without a clue what they are doing. Good Luck!

I've found that 80 percent have nothing working, 10 percent have recorded old programs even though they label them "live", five percent always seem to offer some kind of signal they say is live, but it never works right, and the final five percent play live and on time.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Rabbit In The Moon - Belly Fire Dancer

Electronic Music Group Rabbit In The Moon

Red Belly / Fire Dancer Video

This dancer is hypnotic and polished and intense,

she performs with Rabbit in the Moon and other groups,

if you search utube for fire dancers and rabbit in the moon etc. you can find much more footage of her doing various fire dances etc.

Give it a chance, don't dismiss out of hand, watch a couple times, it's one of those things that grows on you, then you wonder why you didn't like it at first.

Here is a bonus video with some more fusion style belly dance:

Alice Deejay Better Off Alone Lorya Bootleg Mix

Fun! Hava Nagila Unusual Versions

A Hard Days Hava Nagila

These unusual versions of Hava Nagila are intended for FUN!

They are NOT intended to offend!

If any of them offend you, let me know and I will remove my links.

Anything else, you'll have to take up with the creators and people

who posted them on utube.

Hava Nagila Texas Style

Meshugah Beach Party Hava Nagila

and finally that old joke:

Hava Nagila, Havtwo Nagila, Havthree Nagila

They are pretty small!

Hey!

LYRICS to Merry Something To You by DEVO

Merry Something, To You by DEVO

Images by Mark Mothersbaugh

LYRICS - SING A LONG!

(I could not find the lyrics anywhere on the Net, hence...)

Whether You're Christian, Muslim or Jew

Happy Holidays

Any Old Dance That You Like To Do

Happy Holidays

Eat Bite Drink Up Nibble Gobble Chew

Happy Holidays

Believe What You Want To Nothing's Really True

Happy Holidays

Merry Something! To You!

Deedle Deedle Deet Deet, Deedle Deedle Deet Deet

Doodly Doodly Doo!

Deedle Deedle Deet Deet, Deedle Deedle Deet Deet

Doodly Doodly Doo!

=============

Disco Trekkin with Grace Lee Whitney!

Grace Lee sings Disco Trekkin!!!

This is a subclip of a mix put on utube by TSOP,

I do not own any of it, I'm using it for criticism only fair use.

GLW, Yeoman Rand of Trek TOS, made this song in the late seventies.

She brought a copy to Star Trekon 1980 in KCMO

and KC Stangel DJ played it at the dance.

I remember her saying "we're going to redo it with a hotter band."

Grace Lee was one of the most stunningly hot and beautiful women in the world as she roller skated around the

plaza in a slinky hot pant outfit that weekend.
See what you think of her foray into the world of Disco!

What's The News Across The Nation? Lyrics

This is a short compilation of clip fragments from my

Favorite 60's Comedy Show - Laugh In.

I do not own any of this, it's Fair Use for criticism only.

This covers the regular skit called Laugh In Looks At The News only.

I grew up watching this show, and I love the News Song.

See if you can sing along!

"What's The News, Across The Nation?
We Have Got, The Information
In a Way, We Hope Will Amuse, You
We Just Love, To Give You Our Views
La Da Dee Da!
Ladies and Gents
Laugh In Looks at The News!
and here's Dan!"

Sunday, January 1, 2012

VROUK's TOP 25 VIDEOS

Here is a list of my current favorite Top 25 videos not necessarily in order or ranking. Enjoy. I highly recommend you use good speakers, turn them up loud, and play the video at the highest resolution offered on the youtube menu, play them from youtube and full screen. Some may not be suitable for business environments.

1. Denki Groove - Flashback Disco music video HD - Japan

2. Amii Stewart - Knock on Wood music video USA

3a. How To Dance When You're High On Life - comedy USA

3b. Tunak Tunak Tun (bhangra video they are dancing to) India

4. Fast Food Song by Fast Food Rockers music video UK

5. Sun Kings Carrier Squadron Pump It - music video USA

6. May He Poop? Fake Subtitles - music video India

7. Yazima Beauty Salon - Sing Like an Idol music video Japan

8. Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch music video USA

9. What American English Sounds Like to Non English Speakers
comedy music video Italy

10a. Black Lodge Singers - Ask Your Mom For Fifty Cents

Powwow Song no video, see next for video

10b. Black Lodge Singers

Elmos World Old McDonald Powwow video USA

They specialize in making Powwow songs fun for Kids!

11. Creedence Clearwater Revival - Looking Out My Back Door -
music video USA

12. DJ Swamp - Worship The Robots music video USA

13. Cowsills - Hair - music video by fans USA

14. The Neanderthals w/Pontani Sisters on Ghoul a Go Go

music video USA

15. Black Sheep You Can Go With This KIA Comm'l USA

16. Alice Deejay - The Lonely One music video Dutch/Russian

17. Pikachunes - Just a Boy - music video USA

18. Chopper Air Hostess skit - Australian

19. Come Fly With Me - Martin Clune Song skit - UK
BBC WORLDWIDE REMOVED THIS COME FLY WITH ME VIDEO
FROM YOUTUBE- FOR COPYRIGHT VIOLATION
SORRY, IT WASN'T MY VIDEO, I JUST LINKED TO IT